God called Abraham a friend. In the Gospel of John, Jesus said, “I have called you friends.” Friendship is a big part of the Christian life.

After moving to Georgia two years ago, I began to think more deeply about friendships and relationships. Methodist pastors move around a lot, but I was blessed to remain in most places longer than average. Even so, it was always difficult to leave behind the true friendships we had formed.

When Natalie and I were first married, we were asked to babysit for a young couple who were going out of town for a few days. The little guy—I don’t even remember his name—was about seven or eight years old.

One night before he went to bed, I asked him how I could pray for him.

He looked a little sad and said, “I don’t have any friends at school. You can pray for that.”

I asked him how he was trying to make friends, and he said, “Well, my mom says you have to be a friend to have a friend.”

I never forgot that.

It’s an old saying, I think, but I had never heard it before, and it stuck with me.

I came across the following the other day, and I really liked it. It reminded me to be thankful for the friends who truly become lifelong friends. That doesn’t happen often, and as I get older, I value it more than ever.

What’s the Secret to Keeping a Friendship for a Lifetime?

Every few years, one of you becomes someone new.

One of us got married.
One of us got divorced.
One of us became a parent.
One of us moved away.
One of us lost ourselves for a while.
One of us found ourselves again.

Most people think friendships end because people change.

That’s not true.

People change. That’s what they’re supposed to do.

Friendships often end when we expect someone to stay who they were.

Some years, you speak every day. Some years, life gets in the way.

The friend you had at 25 isn’t the same friend you have at 35. Or 45. Or 55.

If you spend your life demanding the old version back, you may have lost that friend decades ago.

The strongest friendships aren’t built on staying the same. They’re built on making room for who each other becomes.

The friends who stay in our lives the longest aren’t the ones who never change. They’re the ones we keep getting to know.

Through the marriage. The divorce.

The parenting. The job loss. The heartbreak.

The reinvention. The confidence.

The losing themselves. And the finding themselves again.

Because friendship isn’t loving someone only for who they were. It’s loving them through every chapter of who they become.

I like that.

Knowing how to accept both growth—and even stagnation—in one another keeps life and love in a friendship. Because, well, that’s real life.

And isn’t that the kind of friend God is?

He loves us through the hard times, the easy times, and all the ups and downs of the human soul. He only asks us to love Him in return.

So, I’m trying harder to be a friend because, well, that’s the only way to have a friend. 

In Christ,
James

They say 60 is the new 40. I’m not so sure about that, but I’ll admit, 37 felt very different from 57.

Somehow, saying that number out loud forces you to pause for a second.

Not because 57 sounds old.

Because it doesn’t.

But because when you look back, you suddenly realize how quickly the years slip away.

I thought I knew it all at 37.

The challenges of life. Marriage. Parenting. Joy. Heartache. Failure. Success.

Natalie and I had spent the previous few years working to help build a new United Methodist church. After about a year, we felt directed by God to leave everything behind, go to seminary, and enter full-time ministry.

By 37, I thought I knew what direction I was headed.

In many ways, I knew nothing.

Looking back, I can laugh about that.

Not because it’s funny to learn lessons the hard way, but because the best lessons in life are often learned by loving people well and allowing life to mold and shape us along the way.

The lessons I wish I had known at 37 aren’t found in a book.

They were learned through years of loving others, going deeper in friendships, losing some shallow relationships, making mistakes, fighting disappointment, starting over, watching God open doors, and wondering why He closed others.

If I could sit down over coffee with the 37-year-old version of myself, here are 10 things I wish I had known.

1. You Don’t Have to Have It All Together

As a 37-year-old, I wanted answers.

I wanted to know where I would be in five years. I wanted to know what ministry would look like, what our family would look like, where we would live, what opportunities would arise, and what challenges we would face.

Faith doesn’t work like that, though.

Some days, God will give you a map. Other days, He only gives you enough light for the next step.

Over the years, I have learned to be okay with not having it all together.

I’ve discovered that some days I think I’m standing in the middle of a dead end, only to discover down the road that God was simply redirecting my steps.

If you find yourself in a season of life where you can’t see what’s next, it doesn’t mean that God has abandoned you.

Sometimes it just means He is asking you to trust Him one step at a time.

2. Not Everyone Has to Like You

This took me far too long to figure out.

If you spend your entire life trying to please everyone, making sure everyone understands your heart, your motives, and your decisions, you will spend your entire life exhausted by a battle you cannot win.

People will always perceive you through the lens of their own experiences, disappointments, expectations, and assumptions.

Some will misunderstand you.

Some will criticize you.

Some will talk about you behind your back.

And sometimes, if we’re honest, some of the criticism you receive might be valid.

Listen.

Learn from criticism when necessary.

Apologize when you’re wrong.

Make it right when you can.

Then walk away from the rest.

Jesus was misunderstood, too.

Well, that’s enough of that.

3. Success Looks Different Than You Think

Success looks like status when you’re young.

Position. Influence. Accomplishments. Money. Recognition. People knowing your name.

The older I get, the less I care about those things.

And the more I care about what truly matters.

I have watched people achieve every goal they set their minds to and still be unbelievably unhappy.

I have seen people with next to nothing cheerfully give away everything they had.

I have watched “ordinary” people change the lives of others without ever being recognized by the world.

Success is not what others define it to be.

Success is making a difference.

And sometimes, the people you make the biggest difference for will never know.

4. Your Family Is Worth Your Time

Everything else can be replaced.

A job.

Opportunities.

Church.

Money.

But the time your children spend growing up and the moments you have with the people you love can never be replaced.

If you had told me that when I was 37, I would have laughed.

But nothing else in life is quite as important.

And when you look back, you quickly realize how fast it all goes.

Treasure every moment.

5. Be Kinder Than Necessary

I have mentioned this to others before, but spend enough time around people, and you will realize that we only ever know part of the story.

The person who rubs you the wrong way is usually fighting a battle you know nothing about.

The person who is angry may be afraid.

The bitter person was once hurt.

And the people who disappoint you probably disappoint themselves the most.

It doesn’t excuse unhealthy behavior.

But it should give us a reason to pause before we react.

Everyone could use more kindness.

A phone call.

A note.

An encouraging text.

A few extra minutes listening to someone.

Sometimes the smallest things mean the most to others.

Plus, it never hurts to give people the benefit of the doubt.

6. Starting Over Is Never the End of the Story

If I could go back and give myself one piece of advice, it would be this:

Starting over doesn’t mean you failed.

Sometimes it’s simply an act of obedience.

There have been times in my life when I didn’t understand why things were happening until later.

Hindsight is 20/20 and all that.

If I could have seen God’s view back then, I would have realized that some of the things I was fighting to hold onto were the very things He was asking me to release.

Starting over is scary.

But sometimes starting over is starting exactly where we need to be.

Abraham had to leave.

Moses had to go.

Peter had to start over after denying Jesus.

Paul’s entire life started over.

Starting over is not the end of the story.

It just might be where God is leading you to start the next chapter.

7. Forgiveness Will Set You Free

Honestly, I probably should have put this first.

Forgiveness is one of those things I have spoken about for years, yet still had to learn for myself.

Forgiveness doesn’t ignore pain.

It doesn’t mean we excuse poor behavior.

And it doesn’t mean there still shouldn’t be consequences.

But forgiveness does allow us to refuse to let someone else’s behavior control our hearts any longer.

We carry around far too many hurts that God never intends for us to drag around for years.

8. Protect Your Joy

Let things go.

Not everyone deserves your time.

Not every argument is worth letting steal your peace.

Not every criticism deserves a response.

Some people are just bent on trying to steal your joy.

Let them go.

The older I get, the fewer pointless arguments I want.

There are too many good things in life to spend our limited time fighting battles that don’t matter.

9. Pay Attention to the People God Places in Your Life

Some people are in our lives for a season, others for a reason, and still others for a lifetime.

But every once in a while, God allows someone to enter your life who completely changes your story.

Don’t take them for granted.

Tell them you love them.

Let them know they matter while you have the opportunity.

We are far too good at assuming there will always be another day.

Sometimes there isn’t.

10. Trust God With the Story

This was the biggest lesson of all for me.

I used to have plans.

Big plans.

God was fine with that.

He still is.

But in my 20s and 30s, my plans didn’t allow much room for Him.

Now I don’t need to know what’s around every corner.

I can dream.

Work hard.

And continue to believe God has great things ahead.

But I can leave the plans up to Him.

Because I have lived long enough to look back and see His fingerprints all over my story in places where I couldn’t see Him at the time.

Prayers I thought went unanswered.

Doors I thought should have opened.

Disappointments I could not understand.

But one thing I know…

God never changes.

And if you live long enough, you learn to find greater peace in the questions you don’t have answers for.

I don’t know what my next chapter will look like.

But I know who holds the pen.

And at 57, that’s all I need.

What I Would Tell My 37-Year-Old Self

Slow down.

Love others well.

Don’t fear the unknown.

Accept that people—often the very ones who will betray you—will disappoint you.

Offer grace when grace is difficult to offer.

And don’t spend your life trying to impress people.

Keep walking with Him, even when you can’t see what He’s doing.

Because the road gets longer every year, but it’s so much more beautiful than we could have ever imagined.

And for that, I’m thankful for every mile.

Remember that I love you.

In Christ,
James

One of the most difficult aspects of pastoring is learning to study Scripture personally outside of preparing sermons. Over the years, I’ve tried to do this consistently to grow in my own life, and it’s been difficult at times but so, so beautifully helpful to my own spiritual pursuits. Over the past few months, I’ve been studying and journaling about the minor prophets of the Old Testament. Yes, they’re called the “Minor Prophets,” but there’s nothing minor about what they have to say.

These twelve small books at the end of the Old Testament are powerful messages from God through Hosea, Amos, Jonah, Micah, and Malachi. They saw fear and division in the land, weak leadership, nations in conflict, and people who had turned away from God. Sound familiar?  Each of these prophets reminded their people that God had not abandoned them. Through them we hear about God’s justice, His mercy, our sin and forgiveness, and our hope in the coming Savior.

Micah says, “Do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with your God.” Joel encourages us that God welcomes sinners who return to Him. Jonah shows us that God’s mercy can extend to even those we’d rather write off. Malachi assures us that someday God will do a new thing. Over and over in these little books, we find one BIG story: God loves His people too much to leave them.

My invitation to you is to spend the next six weeks getting to know these often neglected books of the Bible. Don’t rush through them.  Read a few chapters, think on what you’ve read, pray about it, and see what the Lord might be saying to you. I often read these books in The Message version by Eugene Peterson. It really helps me to understand the writings better, and it’s easy to find for free online. This is the outline I’ve used:

Week 1 – Read Hosea and Joel and look for God’s love and His promise for those who will come home to Him.

Week 2 – Read Amos and Obadiah and see what God has to say about justice and our relationships with others.

Week 3 – Read Jonah and Micah and see what you learn about mercy, obedience, and humility.

Week 4 – Read Nahum and Habakkuk and learn about trusting God when life doesn’t make sense.

Week 5 – Read Zephaniah and Haggai and ask God what areas of your life need to become important again.

Week 6 – Finish with Zechariah and Malachi and see what you can learn about the hope we have in the Savior who is coming.

Keep a journal handy and write down one verse that stands out to you each day. Then ask these three simple questions:

What does this say about God?  

What does this reveal to me about myself?

What can I do differently today?  

Give these books six weeks.  You might be surprised by what these smallest books of the Bible can say to your life. Let me know how it goes.

In Christ,
James

There are few things as exciting as the start of a new school year. New classrooms. New teachers. New friends. New opportunities. Each of these reminds us that our God is a God of new beginnings.

Whether you are a nervous kindergartner on your first day of school, a freshman excited about your first year of high school, a teacher eager to inspire students in your area of expertise, or a school administrator preparing to lead your faculty and students through another year, remember this: wherever you go, you are going as a representative of Christ.

Scripture reminds us, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23).

Students, let your classmates see Christ in your compassion, your integrity, your respect for others, and your willingness to include everyone. Teachers and administrators, you have an incredible opportunity to influence the lives of young people every day. While public schools have regulations regarding religious activity, there is no policy that can prevent you from compassionately serving students, leading with integrity, encouraging those who are struggling academically or socially, or treating every student with the dignity they deserve as someone created in the image of God.

Oftentimes, simply living our lives in a way that reflects Jesus is the most powerful witness we can offer.

As another school year begins, let’s commit ourselves to being light in the darkness. Sharing our faith doesn’t mean forcing conversations about Jesus. It means living in such a way that, when opportunities arise, we are ready to “give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15).

Pray for your fellow students. Pray for your coworkers. Pray for your teachers, administrators, and school leaders. Look for opportunities to serve others rather than waiting to be served. Encourage the student who feels discouraged. Stand up for those who are being bullied, overlooked, or left out. Use your words to build others up rather than tear them down through gossip or unkindness.

As you do these things, you become a light in the darkness, pointing others to Christ.

As you begin this new school year, may the Lord surround every student, teacher, administrator, staff member, and volunteer with His loving care. May He grant you wisdom as you make decisions, strength when you face challenges, and joy in every accomplishment. May His peace guard your heart during times of anxiety or uncertainty. May His hand of protection rest upon every campus, and may this school year be filled with learning, growth, meaningful friendships, and countless opportunities to glorify our Lord.

God bless you all, and have a wonderful school year!

In Christ,
James

We cannot turn on the news without seeing evidence that these are politically divided times. Friendships and families are being torn apart over political differences. Discussions on matters of justice, morality, and culture often lead to anger rather than understanding. Christianity is increasingly encountering and conflicting with other world religions and worldviews that deny the exclusive claims of Christ.

As believers in Jesus, we will never hide our faith or shy away from sharing the gospel. Christ is the only hope for this world, and we are obligated to boldly declare Him as Lord. But Scripture cautions us that how we declare the Lord Jesus matters. Peter commands us to be prepared to give an answer for the hope we have (1 Peter 3:15), but to do so “with gentleness and respect.”

We will never be forced to choose between speaking truth and showing love. The gospel empowers us to speak with conviction while also commanding us to extend that same grace to everyone we meet. John Wesley said there could be no holiness apart from social holiness. That means our faith is not lived out in private but is demonstrated by how we love our neighbors, care for our communities, and build bridges with people who think and believe differently than we do.

The Church needs to be countercultural. Our world celebrates outrage and derision, but we are ambassadors of reconciliation. We refuse to tear others down because of disagreement, and we will continue to love those on the other side of the political spectrum because that is what Jesus commands us to do. We will never compromise the truth we have been given, but our goal is to reach people, not win arguments.

The world is watching to see whether Christians will reflect the hostility of our culture or display the love of Jesus. In these uncertain times, I am trying to season my words with grace and keep my convictions grounded in Scripture. As we do, we will be filled with humility, compassion, and holy love, pointing others not merely to our words but to the Savior who transformed us.

In Christ,
James

John Wesley once said, “The gospel of Christ knows of no religion but social; no holiness but social holiness.” Wesley did not mean that our faith depends on other people or that individual devotion does not matter. Rather, he understood that following Jesus was never intended to be done alone.

Christian faith is formed in community with other believers who worship together, pray together, study Scripture together, confess their struggles and sins to one another, carry each other’s burdens, and encourage one another to keep growing in grace. Wesley realized that faith is often weakened when separated from other believers, but authentic Christian community sharpens and strengthens our walk with Christ.

From the beginning of Methodism, through societies and class meetings, Christians gathered not merely to hear about Christ but to help one another become more like Him. Social holiness also compels us to reach beyond the walls of the church. Wesley understood that a heart transformed by God’s grace naturally overflows into acts of mercy, compassion, justice, and love for neighbors in need. Caring for the poor, visiting the sick, feeding the hungry, and standing alongside the forgotten members of society were not afterthoughts or optional ministries for Wesley. They were the evidence of lives transformed by Jesus Christ.

Time and again, Jesus drew His followers into relationship with Himself and with one another. He reminded His disciples—and He reminds us—that the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love our neighbor (Matthew 22:37–40). We cannot fully reflect the image of Christ if we are disconnected from His people or isolated from those around us who need to hear the

Good News of Jesus. Holiness is not solely personal; it is social.

In Christ,
James

My coming to Georgia has caused quite a stir on my phone and Natalie’s phone over the past two years. Believe me, leading a new church was a pipe dream—or so I thought. As much as I begged God throughout my life to allow me to do it, I didn’t think it would ever happen. I’m just as surprised as all those who have filled our email and text boxes!

I now know God was getting me ready. The good days and the bad days all meant something. Walking away from the “system” was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. Natalie and I have experienced every emotion imaginable through this transition: the pain of being misunderstood and gossiped about; having untrue things said about us; being praised for making such a bold move; receiving reams of letters thanking us for the lives we touched; and even seeing long friendships come to an end because we were viewed as “abandoning the ship.”

As I look around at Grace Resurrection, it fills my heart and spirit with joy, gratitude, and great hope. Watching people come to this place for membership, baptizing two teenagers in just the past few months who have given their hearts to Jesus, seeing God bring staff members to our team who are focused, kind, and willing to sacrifice—not to mention the commitment I’ve witnessed in our small groups, men’s ministry, women’s ministry, and outreach ministries—is simply incredible. The four retired pastors I’ve had the privilege of working with in this new endeavor, and then having one of my former associate pastors from Kentucky rejoin me here—just wow. I’m not smart enough to make all of that happen. I believe in a supernatural God more at this moment than I ever have.

Being the church in the twenty-first century is very different from what we’ve encountered in the past. The family of God—the different parts of the body—is not the problem. Churches all over the world are filled with good people who are at the mercy of the darkness only because they don’t know what to look for. We become so focused on legalistic rule-keeping, morality, and traditions that mean nothing to a holy God that we unknowingly fuel the enemy’s plans by staying focused on the wrong things: systems, organizational structures, and personal theology that fits our preferences instead of the ways of Christ.

I had become more committed to surviving as a pastor than thriving as a child of God. A scarcity mindset, a self-righteous religious business plan, and petty disagreements among our brothers and sisters in Christ have held us back long enough. The enemy—the evil powers in the heavenlies, the rulers of darkness—is assaulting many people of God right now. But we are going to turn the tables on Satan, and through the refining fire we are going to become a stronger, purer church—and that means all of the Church.

Jesus says He is coming back for a church “without spot or wrinkle” (Ephesians 5:25–27). And you know what a wrinkle is, right? A wrinkle is a gathering in the wrong place! 😀🤷🏻‍♂️

God is saying to the Church, “Take your eyes off people and fix your eyes on Me, and I will be exalted as your Lord. I am the Lord who heals you. I will deliver you. I love you. I forgive you, and I will restore you.”

We are not to fight one another. We are to fix our eyes on Jesus, submit to God, and resist the devil, and he will flee. That is God’s command to us today.

You are never to strike back at a brother or sister in Christ. You are never to strike back at another believer, even if you think they’re wrong. If a brother or sister is doing wrong, you walk with them, forgive them, love them, and, in the proper time, restore them. Both bishops—such godly men—whom I had the pleasure of serving with modeled and taught me that.

We don’t ignore evil; we repent of it. We repent of all the works of darkness. We are not to choose sides. We are not to bow to a denomination. We are to bow before the Lord Jesus Christ. We are His body. We are the people of God—of all races and all backgrounds. Let it be said emphatically: God is purifying His whole Church. If I’ve seen nothing else over the past ten years, I’ve seen that… clearly.

We are called to worship God in spirit and truth—Methodist, Presbyterian, Pentecostal, Baptist, Independent, Episcopal, Anglican, whatever we are. We’re not to be a Baptist ministry, a Methodist ministry, or an Independent ministry. We are to be a New Testament, Jesus-centered ministry. Denominational names are merely handles. Remember CB radio handles? They identify where we lean, perhaps even a church’s personality, but they are not who we are. Biblical, Christ-filled bodies are who we are to be. That is what God wants.

He doesn’t want to destroy any denomination. God allows denominations because our human hearts are hard at times. But He wants to lead us all to repentance so that He can restore all churches. Without repentance, restoration, and the heart of Jesus, a church is just another VFW or Rotary Club.

If you’re a pastor reading this, I beg you: step out of denominational bureaucracy. I’m not saying leave it—just use it as much as possible to spread the Gospel, but focus on the meat and spit out the bones.

The future of the Church is here. It’s now. God wants to pour out His Spirit on all flesh. And He will do that through people who will repent of their sins, repent of dead works, walk away from church politics, and receive the fullness of God in the freedom of the Holy Spirit. That will release the life of God to our communities, our congregations, and to the ends of the earth.

The stage is set right now for that to happen. The door is W-I-D-E open.

Take advantage of it.

And live. ✝️

In Christ,

James